the fact that obama got called in on jury duty is hilarious. imagine you’re in court on some petty misdemeanor like a traffic violation and fuckin obama is there in the jury
Ok but you know what trope I love and don’t get NEARLY enough of?
Accidental sex
“Anything you can do I can do better INCLUDING THAT” sex
“You played a prank on me and now I’m going to play one on you except oops this accidentally got hot” sex
“You made an inaccurate assumption about *insert sexual or sexuality misnomer here* and I’m going to teach you the truth” sex
“You think you’re so smart so I’m going to teach you a lesson” sex
“Do you think I look good/hot/provocative in this? Wait is this turning you on???” sex
“You don’t know what *insert kink here* is and I’m really bad at explaining things and now we’re doing it oops” sex
“I bet I can dance/move/act like that and I don’t even have to be a dancer/stripper/actor/whatever wait are you turned on?” sex
“I lost a bet to you and the circumstances were supposed to be a joke but I took them seriously” sex
“You were joking about something and I took you seriously” sex
“You seem to think that __ won’t feel good and I intend to prove you wrong” sex
“You’re intentionally getting under my skin so I threaten to spank you/playfully spank you and now you look like you just got banged against a wall” sex
“I didn’t know you were a sub and when I called you a good boy/girl you almost cried” sex
“I didn’t know you were a dom and when I called you Sir/Ma'am you almost jumped me” sex
“Playing a prank on our freinds to make them think we’re a couple and now we’re in bed together” sex
“I’m fixing you *insert appliance/furniture/house thing hee* for you and now I’m sweaty and half naked and you’re drooling” sex
“I noticed the way you were watching me eat this popsicle so I purposely started making it an inuendo and now we’re both hot and bothered” sex
“Haha that thing they do in movies/porn/online is so corny like no way that’s actually hot haha oops it is” sex
“Freinds can totally watch porn together and nothing can happen…. no they can’t” sex
“I showed you *insert sexual thing here* as a joke but you’re actually turned on” sex
“You found my sex toys and I teasingly offered to demonstrate them welp here we are” sex
“I started pretending to dirty talk to you an hour ago and it stopped being pretending 58 minutes ago” sex
“All I’m saying is that I’ve been told I’m a good lay, wanna find out?” sex
“You said you don’t like __ but I bet the people you were with just don’t know how to do it, I, however, have experience and bet I could make you like it” sex
“We platonically slept together last night because of circumstances and we both woke up horny” sex
“This started as a tickle fight and it isn’t tickling anymore” sex
“We’re just bros being bros and doing something 100% platonic but somehow we’re turning eachother on because of not-so-burried feelings for eachother and we can’t make it stop” sex
No joke I was a manager at Hot Topic during peak Twilight craze and let me tell you it was ~ w y l d ~
Headquarters told us to stop putting size stickers or sensors on the new shirts that would come in, just put them out as fast as we could and literally people would rip piles from our arms!!!
like we had a midnight release “party” for ppl who preordered their copy of Twilight but like it got out of hand and 1200 ppl showed up. we had to assign someone to be security for the Edward cardboard cutout because ppl were biting it
2018 Grinch has no edge. He’s got no bite. He’s not even that much of an asshole. He’s just a sassy gay furry with unusually nice teeth despite his famous theme song declaring otherwise.
1966 Grinch? Now that was a mean, scary bastard. He was a crusty old fuck who hated society so much that he only came off his shitty frozen mountain to commit crimes and terrorism out of spite.
Bennyhoo Cumberland Grinch comes down from his mountain to buy groceries.
You can round the edges off a character to make them more “relatable” or whatever, but you also run the risk of losing what defined them in the first place. The end result is bland and generic.
2018 Grinch is a reflection of modern society’s rejection of real character flaws in the interest of being “unproblematic” and in this essay i will
What was your opinion on the Jim Carrey grinch?
Jim Carrey Grinch said bitch, ate glass and threw a whole child in the garbage. He is an absolute champ and the only rightful heir to the throne.
“kids these days are so cringey w their fortnite dances-” are none of yall going to acknowledge the shit we did. are we not going to acknowledge gangnam style. what does the fox say. if we go older hamster dance. crazy frog. the fucking duck song. the llama song. charlie the unicorn.
If someone tells you to stop ripping on them, even if you’re joking, fucking listen. That shit gets tiring doesn’t matter if it’s a fucking joke no one wants to hear negative shit all the time.
Some of y’all think you can be rude asf all the time bc you’re “just joking” but you’re seriously wearing people down.
Hey everyone, so you know organizations like UNICEF and whatnot that allow you to buy the kind of gifts where you donate mosquito nets or something in a person’s name? Well a lot of those organizations will let you donate vaccines, as it turns out. Like, right now on UNICEF’s site, providing 100 polio vaccines to kids in need is 19 USD. And I’m not saying you should buy it and then send a card to an anti-vax relative saying you’ve provided lifesaving vaccinations in their name, but actually that’s exactly what I’m saying
½: jin and jimin. just absolute alcohol induced chaos. starting AND finishing the night with shots. wake up the next day and have no idea how u got home alive and have to piece the night together by combining ur blurry snapchat stories. but BOY is it LIT.
3. tae. like YEAH sure he’s essentially sober all night but he’s also 100% into all ur drunk bullshit and makes the best partying memories.
4. jungkook. toooons of fun at first but u kno ur just gna end up taking care of him the whole night but he’s cute so it’s fine
5. joon. he breaks every single glass he holds and spills beer all over u and then stands awkwardly in the corner all night but he will try his best to take care of u when he can he’s trying.
6. yoongi. first of all its impossible to actually get him to come out but when he does he’s complaining abt how he wants to go home the whole time
7. hobi. he’s gone after 1 drink and passed out on the couch before u even finish pregaming
